There is only war.
We have been without an interpreter since our master got angry with our last protocol droid and disintegrated him.
This was unexpected, but awesome. On Friday, Stephen Colbert went ahead and spoke at the RSA conference, despite our petition (that many of you signed) asking him not to. But in the end, it was kind of amazing, and basically went just the way we’d planned.
UPDATE: Here’s full video…
This isn’t a fucking competition Legolas
Any time anyone says Tolkien isn’t funny, I bring up this scene.
To put it in context, Aragorn is a ridiculously good tracker. He had just been literally lying flat on his belly on the ground, his ear pressed to the dirt, so he could listen for footsteps of the army that was way, way out of sight. We’re talking miles away, here. Aragorn was listening to the ground. And from that, he figured out that there were a lot of riders, on hecka fast horses, heading right towards them, with the intention of fucking their shit up. Pretty badass, right?
Cue Legolas, a.k.a. You Little Shit. Legolas is an elf. His eyesight and hearing is ridiculously good. Like, it puts any human’s to shame.
He literally let Aragorn lie there on the ground and strain to hear footsteps in the distance for no reason. And when Aragorn got up, the little shit drove the point home by saying “Oh yeah, I see them, I’ve seen them this whole time, there’s a hundred and five of them, oh yeah and they’re all blonde and they’re carrying spears nbd”
Cue Aragorn gritting his teeth in frustration and Legolas smirking like the sassy pointy-eared fuck that he is.
This may actually be my favorite part of LOTR okay
So it’s my birthday and I’m opening gifts. I open the wrapped box from my uncle.
I open the box, and find a $50 gift card, yes? But wait, there’s Styrofoam. There’s more.
Then I remove the Styrofoam…
A FUCKING LEGLESS LEGO LEGOLAS
mY UNCLE GOT ME A LEGLESS LEGO LEGOLAS
bEST BIRTHDAY GIFT EVER
he then later gave me the legs.
LEGO LEGOLAS’ LEGO LEGS
Are you Luna Lovegood
Loony Luna Lovegood Lavishly Loving LEGO Legolas’s LEGO Legs